This is an excerpt from my skit "That's Not Cool" for the Young Principles Theater Company showcase.The tentative date for the showcase is Oct. 26th - 28th at 8pm. Some titles for the show that we're considering are Gumbo and Oxy Moron.
THAT’S NOT COOL
Two gals, KIM and STEPH are hanging out outside their building. Both are long time friends as well as hip, ubran twenty-something year olds who love to hang out. Kim paces about while puffing her cigarette. Steph is filing her fingernails.
KIM: The hell was Dan thinking?
STEPH: Obviously a delusional moron.
KIM: Somebody needs to shoot that head of his down before it burns up in the stratosphere. Does he seriously believe we laugh at his stupid little antics?
STEPH: You have to make retards feel good about themselves. It’s an unwritten law.
KIM: And his hairy chest? (gags)
Kim pauses, takes a pull from her smoke, grunts and continues to pace around.
STEPH: Write him an anonymous letter. (pulling out a notepad and scribbling) Dear Shit licker, you SUCK, your ass SUCKS, and I hate your stupid, suck-ass FACE. You ASS! Signed, a secret admirer.
Kim snatches the notepad and pen.
KIM (shaking the pad in Steph’s face): Uh Hello! Don’t you think he’ll figure out who sent it?
STEPH (annoyed): Uh Hello! You can type it and print it out. (reclining) It was just an idea.
KIM (snatching notepad and pen): Leave the thinking to the professionals, alright?
STEPH: Do an intervention!
STEPH: My cousin had one the other day because she couldn’t stop smothering her chihuaha. Everyday it was new pictures, new toys, new dresses.
KIM (approaching Steph): Eew. Psycho.
STEPH: Grade A psycho.
Kim listens intently.
STEPH: Anyway, we’ll get a bunch of people together, you know, people who know Dan sucks and we’ll lock in a room and we’ll tell him the truth.
KIM: Can we bring snacks?
STEPH (glaring): Can I finish?
© Frank Reynoso, Aug. 2007, All rights reserved.