This is an excerpt from my skit "That's Not Cool" for the Young Principles Theater Company showcase.
The tentative date for the showcase is Oct. 26th - 28th at 8pm. Some titles for the show that we're considering are Gumbo and Oxy Moron.THAT’S NOT COOL
Characters:
Kim
Steph
Dan
Two gals, KIM and STEPH are hanging out outside their building. Both are long time friends as well as hip, ubran twenty-something year olds who love to hang out. Kim paces about while puffing her cigarette. Steph is filing her fingernails.
KIM: The hell was Dan thinking?
STEPH: Obviously a delusional moron.
KIM: Somebody needs to shoot that head of his down before it burns up in the stratosphere. Does he seriously believe we laugh at his stupid little antics?
STEPH: You have to make retards feel good about themselves. It’s an unwritten law.
KIM: And his hairy chest? (gags)
Kim pauses, takes a pull from her smoke, grunts and continues to pace around.
STEPH: Write him an anonymous letter. (pulling out a notepad and scribbling) Dear Shit licker, you SUCK, your ass SUCKS, and I hate your stupid, suck-ass FACE. You ASS! Signed, a secret admirer.
Kim snatches the notepad and pen.
KIM (shaking the pad in Steph’s face): Uh Hello! Don’t you think he’ll figure out who sent it?
STEPH (annoyed): Uh Hello! You can type it and print it out. (reclining) It was just an idea.
KIM (snatching notepad and pen): Leave the thinking to the professionals, alright?
Pause.
STEPH: Do an intervention!
KIM: What?
STEPH: My cousin had one the other day because she couldn’t stop smothering her chihuaha. Everyday it was new pictures, new toys, new dresses.
KIM (approaching Steph): Eew. Psycho.
STEPH: Grade A psycho.
Kim listens intently.
STEPH: Anyway, we’ll get a bunch of people together, you know, people who know Dan sucks and we’ll lock in a room and we’ll tell him the truth.
KIM: Can we bring snacks?
STEPH (glaring): Can I finish?
Kim scowls.
© Frank Reynoso, Aug. 2007, All rights reserved.
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